[Draft 1] The Vanquisher of Kids ADF-67
Oh god, what hath I created? And tell me, what is the reason?
𓄿𓈖𓂧 𓇋 𓉔𓄿𓂧 𓏏𓅱 𓃭𓅂𓄿𓂋𓈖 𓉔𓇋𓅂𓂋𓅱𓎼𓃭𓇌𓊪𓉔𓇋𓎢𓋴
[SEEKING FEEBACK] The Vanquisher of Kids ADF-67
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» [SEEKING FEEBACK] The Vanquisher of Kids ADF-67
Summary:
This meme has become an eldritch horror.
𓎼𓅱𓅱𓂧 𓆑𓅱𓂋 𓇌𓅱𓅲𓄼 𓃀𓅲𓂧𓂧𓇌𓄎
Just leaving this here to let you know I'll come back to this. Am very tired. I had to babysit my girlfriend's little brother and heard "67" like a gazillion times, so it's a miracle I'm still alive. Feedback coming soon!!!
The zennest of ions.
Ok, I have rested well.
Me read draft, me feed the back:
The "Danger Class" should definitely be "Ira" since this is an entity that is actively willing to harm people, but because it can also be damaged and can only be summoned when doing the dreaded 67 ritual, it shouldn't be higher than that.
The "Current Whereabouts" are completely fine. Maybe if you want your article to seem a bit longer, think about whether the anomaly is localized to a single area, or if anyone in the world does the ritual, it will summon the flesh demon thing. That's the only thing that's unclear. Does it only attack people in a certain state, or is it a global phenomenon?
Obviously, this is just the 1st draft, so the "Description" definitely needs some more info, which will then be explained in-depth with the "Research Logs". Doesn't have to be full of useless information, but just describe the anomaly fully. I'll give you my iconic list of questions to tease your brain with!
Zenion's Iconic List of Questions to Tease Your Brain™
1. What's its intelligence level?
2. Does it disappear only when it kills someone or is harmed? Or can it only be manifested temporarily?
3. Are the cultists protected by it since they are spreading the word?
4. Where does it come from? (the ancient hieroglyphs)
5. Can it appear in multiple spots at the same time?
6. How long does it take to manifest? 0.67 seconds?
8. Can it be reasoned with? Or is it just pure bloodthirst?
Think about these! More info will easily come your way.
The "Research Logs" are already a super fun read lol. The hieroglyph log is amazing. The only thing, and this is very important, is that ADR WOULD NEVER HARM CIVILIANS. They strive to keep the peace, so they would never, EVER, take a teen hostage and force them to 67. They might, however, force an employee to do it by drawing straws or something. ADR employees are kinda silly like that.
And now…
The Cult
Here's what I think would make this anomaly so much more impactful. "The Cult" is a group of teens led by "The 67 Kid," who is that one freaky blonde kid you see everywhere. The 67 Kid is actually a sort of ancient messenger who has been awakened because of some prophecy and is able to influence the new generation by telling them that 67 will be the funniest meme ever, and that they will be relevant and whatever Gen Alpha is into lol. Plus, that creepy edit of the kid is the actual appearance of the leader, and people nowadays are so used to fake brainrot shitposts that they think nothing of it. His followers are protected from the curse because they're directly serving the flesh demon thing, and it sees them as useful assets.
As for the actions, and this is the cool part: Their actions are simply doing the meme, posting it online, telling others that it's funny, yelling it on the street, etc. The reason nobody still understands the meme is that it's not even supposed to be a meme; it's a death curse. This is why I think it would be awesome to have a sort of "PSA" pop-up on the top of the ADF's page, which warns all readers to never partake in the meme, never to speak of it, never to follow trends, etc. Tell them "67 IS NOT A MEME, IT IS A LETHAL CURSE".
This way, you will take what's actually happening in this world rn and add a serious horror element to it. Definitely consider this cause an actual "WARNING" about the severity of the situation and how closely it resembles what is actually happening would be an awesome addition!
Well, that's that. Back to the abyss I go!
The zennest of ions.
So I'll expand on these in the main draft, to add real quick I'd have to experiment more first if I wanna make a pop-up because currently they're 24/7 stuck on your page, dead center until you close it.
The cult is just.. yes. I will 100% expand on this, maybe include ADR personnel attempting to bring ADF-67-2 into custody.
Uhh sorry, I'll replace the Teen with a brand new ADR Recruit :D
1. What's its intelligence level? - Unknown, its not gonna take a test or smth but from its actions, above human average.
2. Does it disappear only when it kills someone or is harmed? Or can it only be manifested temporarily? - It disappears if it takes enough damage OR kills all its targets
3. Are the cultists protected by it since they are spreading the word? - Correct.
4. Where does it come from? (the ancient hieroglyphs) - This will not be said, because noone knows. The Egyptians think from Heaven but yeah no.
5. Can it appear in multiple spots at the same time? - Yep. It's got a lot of mass to spread around, thats why you'll see it in different shapes and sizes, its all different.
6. How long does it take to manifest? 0.67 seconds? - Really just varies, give the man time to crawl out of your floors.
8. Can it be reasoned with? Or is it just pure bloodthirst? - It does not know english, or any human language. Or even have eardrums… or vocal cords. It also can't see. yeah, most of its organs are pretty much excess mass, I'll reason this by including the new fact that it incorporates its victims into itself. It technically could be reasoned with, but can't because it lacks the senses to.
Glad we understood each other on the cult. That's awesome. And an added research log about ADR personnel getting their asses handed to them by the cult leader is just beautiful.
Yeah, definitely replace the teen with a new ADR intern or something. "Look kid if you wanna look good in front of the big ADR Team, you gotta pass your initiation. DO THE DAMN MEME!!!"
There are all valid answers to " Zenion's Iconic List of Questions to Tease Your Brain™ ", which I mainly asked so that you can expand the description a bit. You've basically given yourself a lot more info on the anomaly, which you can easily implement in the draft.
Well, happy (or, idk, sad) writing!!
The zennest of ions.
Thank you!! Also with the posting of ADF-10 (which I'll do after I write this comment lol) I no longer have to share my love between 2 anomalies, so ADF-67 will get more attention :D
Back from my short break, I'm beginning to work on this guy again :3
Note: I just realized in your question it goes "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8" but no 7… actually maybe thats intentional XD
Welcome back. I too went on a lil break and went to a nice Halloween party :)
AHAHHAHA yeah that was intentional, don't wanna manifest any bad juju with all the sixes and sevens you know?
The zennest of ions.
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