I've completed what I hope to be the final draft and I'm setting up hot lines for stores I'm planning to write with these characters that I've created for now this serves as the introduction and I decided to add a Sinister twist
Now this, this is something!
I like the straight-to-the-point approach, as it seems to have been written by a cold-hearted, egotistical researcher simply sent to investigate a potential anomaly. Oh, and the little corrupt log that takes time to load and lags a bit is AWESOME!
There are some small phrasing errors and wording stuff, so, permission to edit your article to polish it a bit and fix those small issues? I will NOT change information, remove details, or do anything that will greatly change your article. Just make it nice and ready for publishing alr?
I do have some final questions out of general curiosity, since you mention wanting the characters to be recurring :)
- How are they connected to the ADR organization, if they even are?
- How did they come across ADF-2? Did somebody contact ADR? Did ADR notice the chair by accident?
- Why did you censor the date in the "Current Whereabouts"?
- Is Dr. Lee the original writer of the article?
- And finally, do you plan on adding a photo of the anomaly to your article? If not, I'd be down helping you out with that. I definitely have an old wooden chair lying around, and an article like this NEEDS a photo. Just to spice things up a little, you know?
The zennest of ions.
1. Thank you for the offer to fix any mistakes but I kind of like the wording but if there's a specific error you can tell me and I'll fix it :)
2. Since the ADR is like a public database as stated in the lore I belive there would be the subsidiaries or groups that do not work specifically for the ADR but publish their findings to the ADR or work closely with the ADR
3. The specific paranormal investigation group that was working with the ADR to publish this article would have an intelligence Network they kind of know how to find people
4. The organization that Dr Lee works for has a chain of command so he did not write the actual body of the article the article however did provide notes
5. I'm not sure
Does this all sound good?
Actually now that I think about it once it is published if there are any errors people could go back and fix them actually I just wanted to be the one to first post it
Thanks for the quick reply :)
1. I had nothing better to do, so I made a couple of fixes on a separate sandbox page. Feel free to keep some of them and change the ones you feel go against your envisioned wording for the article. I'll send it to you ASAP.
2. Fully valid, no objections here!
3. Ahhhh, so it's an entirely separate investigation group. Dope! This could work well in the future, as we plan on adding a page for "ADR affiliated groups".
4. Also valid.
5. I definitely suggest adding a photo to this. I have added a "placeholder" photo of an old wooden chair to my draft. Feel free to remove this if you'd like, but I'll tell you for certian that this will bring a lot more immersion to your article.
The zennest of ions.
I actually found the draft page you were working on on the sandbox on my ADF when I clicked on your profile page and went on recent contributions and I liked it you kept almost everything that I put in there just made it better I would very much like the wiki syntax of the changes you made to the refinement of my article thank you so much!